Angels
December 1, 2017

It was the blackest of Fridays. There are no words to describe the heartbreak of losing your love. To be honest, I put off writing this one for a long time and I’m still not ready (May 30 of the following year). I have had the blessing of being graced with the most amazing beautiful cat for the last 18 years and have been cursed with the need to say goodbye. I know in my heart it was best to ease her pain and not allow her to suffer. I know physically, it was cruel and selfish to let her live on but I also know mentally and spiritually, she was not ready which makes the decision forever questionable. The transition was as peaceful as possible, I guess. Holding her paws on her favorite couch cushion, she knew she was loved. It was painful to take part in but I needed her to know I’m with her always after the lifetime of companionship, support and happiness she provided.

For anyone who knows me, or has even met me, it was apparent how much Ember has meant to me through the years. Her picture adorned my dorm walls and consumed my social media. She’s the first one I say hello to when returning home and the last goodbye before leaving. Every night she couldn’t be with me, I imagined her by my feet or holding my hand and forever will. I was always elated when she could visit my apartment, shadow my every move and rest her paws on my hands. She’s been my comfort and unquestionable love from the moment she came into my life that holiday. ‘Yes Virginia, there really is a Santa Clause’ read the sign on the bathroom door as my heart immediately formed a new chamber, just for her.

Thank you to good friends for providing comfort around a fire as I watched floating Embers as if she was saying she was alright. Thank you to everyone for their outpouring of support. To those who are no longer friends, thank you for your condolences when the news reached you, even if the delay added to grief at the time. In the days/weeks of numbness that followed, I found an ounce of comfort in an image of an angel statue I came across online. While I don’t have strong religious beliefs, there was something surprisingly peaceful in angel imagery so to conclude 2017’s doodle blog, I leave you with this unfinished drawing and a tribute to the best family member a person could wish for, Ember.

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Birdcage
November 5, 2017

It is weird to have limitless freedom and simultaneously feel a bit stuck, trapped even. I’m extremely lucky to live myself in a place I love, have a job in my field, supportive family and friends along with minimal life obligations/responsibilities beyond work. However, I suppose with the amount of time and energy devoted to work, it doesn’t leave a lot of motivation to fly.

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Coltrane Continued
October 4, 2017

This Coltrane painting has been laying around my apt since the Spring, just staring at me … mocking me. Knowing it can be sooooo much better if I paint more. Finally I continued it. It is still far off from where I want it to be but luckily since it is just for fun, there is no deadline. What a beautiful thing yet dangerous for completion. Hopefully I’ll finish it one of these days. In the meantime, here is a better version from where this live painting started in May.

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Zombie
September 2, 2017

More doodles to reveal my true feels. Unfortunately after the summer, this one wasn’t quite as empowering as charge. I think I’m overtired and overworked. This picture pretty much sums up my scrambled brain and overall fatigue. This summer has been nucking futs.

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Charge
August 24, 2017

Thank you creative friends for hosting an art show for the joy of bringing together a creative community, forcing me to focus on something fine-artsy for the passion of it instead of something I had to do work related. I’ve been really absorbed in this one and despite a cramp in my finger from xacto-knifing too much, really enjoyed making this.

It’s amazing how drawings can bring about thoughts you didn’t even know you were thinking. I had to give some presentations earlier this month for work which is when this doodle began. It was a weird sensation to have a room full of intelligent, accomplished people turning to me for answers, respecting the knowledge I have in this one field and looking to me for guidance in how to visually bring joy to their classroom and hallway spaces. I think I’ve always done what has been asked of me, but rarely been asked what should be done … it was new and exciting, scary and kinda powerful. This powerful, take charge mentality resulted in a charging bull.

I’ve also been swept up in computer screens and phones in general between work and social media. I was fascinated by the unintentional symbolism in the name “charge” as in charging a phone my mom pointed out. An evil phone is in this mess but I suppose only has relevance in the title on a subconscious level. Anyway, this began as a pencil sketch like the others from July. I transferred it to nicer paper to ink it. Once it was all inked in black and white, I was disappointed and unsatisfied because it seemed unfinished somehow. This led me to try some new stuff with light I had never considered before. I cautiously took my xacto to it. Funny how by removing pieces, it felt more complete. Perhaps a life lesson I should look more into.

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Unwind
July 13, 2017

I guess my mind is still swirling daydreaming of galloping deer from upstate. I started doodling a series of animals combined with surreal doohickies for an upcoming artshow in August. There’s one further along but I’ll blog about that when it is done hehe. Anyway, I’d like to turn this one into a more final watercolor or perhaps collage piece.

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Harlem
June 3, 2017

Can’t get work off the brain or its’ location. I think Harlem is starting to haunt my dreams. I close my eyes at night and only see a swirling mess of dirty sidewalks, subway stops, broken people but also colorful murals and mental images from my walks in the park. I went to doodle tonight and bits and pieces of Harlem that have gotten absorbed started to unravel in my sketchbook. While there is beauty in this city, I definitely need a long break from it.

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Live Painting
May 21, 2017

What a cool experience! I was asked to paint live at a jazz performance on the 19th and while terrified, did not want to turn down such a rewarding opportunity. I did not get a chance to sketch out a pencil drawing or fully plan/prepare anything to paint with the consumption of work. Instead, I decided to do something new painting-wise … and just wing it. Hauling ass from Harlem to Queens to Huntington, I gathered materials to paint along to a jazz show benefitting the Coltrane foundation.

I was excited to let some old prints resurface in a jazz venue rather than collecting dust in a drawer for an art show as well. After setting up the display, I did not leave myself much more than about 2 minutes to get my easel and paints set. Flustered, I realized … uh oh, I don’t know how to put together my own easel! (I usually work on a pre-set drawing table) What painter doesn’t know how to set up an easel?! Anyway, as embarrassing as that was, I got it to balance enough to get started even if it was really wonky for the night lol. I’ve also never started a painting without an underlying drawing but when the music started, I gotta say, it was pretty liberating not to care about the outcome. Knowing I only had 2 hours and couldn’t possibly finish something to perfection, I began painting for the joy of painting with a “whatever happens, happens” mentality. With all the digital design work I’ve been doing, man—I forgot how much I love painting! From the moment the brush hit the canvas, despite the teetering easel, my nervousness subsided and I thought, I’ve got this. The musicians were great and I had a blast being engrossed by the textures of jazz and acrylics.

Thanks for the amazing opportunity. I hope to do it again sometime and if I do …I’ll learn how my easel works before arriving.

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Orb
April 20, 2017

Restless tonight, wanted to put my Icelandic drawing pencil to use. While doodling, this lil chick emerged. I’m kind of undecided what her agenda is, if she is good or evil or a mix but whatever her persona, she holds some kind of magic within that small orb.

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Drawathon
April 16, 2017

My third time participating at the annual Pratt Drawathon! I made 7 out of 12 hours, not too shabby considering I put in a full day of work first. It was exhausting but satisfying taking a night to focus on my craft and brush up on some fundamentally difficult skills like life drawing. I find the longer poses intimidating, feeling pressure to make something amazing being given sufficient time. I mainly stuck to quick action poses and 5–10 min poses. Maybe next year I will be more brave and venture into the 20 min and hour+ poses. We shall see.

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March 1, 2017

I stayed home from work to work today lol. Excited by a request for Korean ink style window covers, I happily broke out my set of Chinese inks … the felt, the ink grinding stick, the bi’s, the rice paper … all of it! This set of tools and skills has been collecting dust since college. It is far from the traditional accurate strokes it should have but hopefully will brighten up an office.

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Dragon Squat
February 1, 2017

While working on a tshirt design, this lil guy was fun to create even if he is on the backburner for the time being. So yea … some days I get to doodle dragons for work. I think I can continue to get to harlem for that. :)

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Poof
January 2, 2017

And just like that, it’s a new year. After closing out 2016 with an Icelandic adventure, I wanted to give my new souvenir 1986 inscribed drawing pencil a whirl. Here’s to positive wishes granted in 2017 with this sassy genie.

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